Hey Connor,
What's goin' on? I see you've become quite the star of Bucks county, the Prince of Pennsylvania if you will--which is actually the name of a Keanu Reeves movie no one has ever seen, but I found quite enjoyable. You've only been in town for less than a week and I've seen 657 pictures of you on the Internet. It's mostly the same picture where you just sit there. The arms that are holding you change from time to time. Nothing too crazy...yet.
Sure, it's nice to be popular, but you don't want to be over exposed or peak too early. I say this to you because I've seen it happen too many times. Sure we got some great performances from McCauley. Home Alone was the greatest thing a child has ever done, but was it worth him becoming this guy.
And McCauley Culkin isn't even a worst-case scenario. Look at the Lohan, Drew Berrymore, River Pheonix, or the Coreys--to end up like either Corey would be devastating to any pair of arms in those pictures. The list of "Too Much Too Soon" cautionary tales is endless--I don't want to see you on that list.
I suggest you lay low for a while. Let all those pictures sink in. Give those arms a chance to miss you. Lose yourself to find yourself. Grab life by the tail. Grab Wally by the tail. Grab anything you can get your tiny hand around. Just be Connor.
All I'm saying is take a step back from the spotlight. Maybe hire some security to keep the paparazzi at bay. And don't do anything to warrant the paparazzi either (like saying your first word or learning to read and then actually reading this blog). Stay focused on the eating, pooping, and sleeping. I promise all this media attention will calm down, especially if you keep pooping--nobody likes the smelly kid.
Keep it real, Nephew.
Your Favorite Uncle,
Kevin
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