Welcome to Earth, Nephew!

Dear Connor,

It's me your uncle Kevin--your youngest, and inevitably coolest, uncle. We haven't met yet, but we will, and knowing you, you'll probably forget all about it, but I'll let it slide because you're a baby.

First thing's first--congratulations on being a boy--being a boy is sweet. Life is pretty simple for us boys; right now all you want to do is eat, poop, and sleep--and it doesn't get much more complicated than that.

As your favorite uncle, I feel it's my responsibility to drop knowledge on you whenever I can, so I'll do my best to update this blog to teach you important life lessons like, "Don't Sweat the Petty Things and Don't Pet the Sweaty Things" and "No matter what your father says, it's okay to be upset that he made you a Redskins fan." It's not your fault, Connor...It's not your fault.

That's from Good Will Hunting, it's a pretty good movie, but you probably already knew that.

Let me tell you a little about myself: I'm your mom's brother, I live in Las Vegas--which is a magical place filled with wonderful things that you're not ready to hear about yet, but maybe someday. If you were a girl, you wouldn't be allowed near Las Vegas until your 37th birthday and only with strict supervision--just one of the many perks to being a boy--congratulations again on that by the way.

I'll have to talk to your parents about it, but I'm officially inviting you to Vegas for your 12th birthday.

Anyway, I realize this will probably be a one-sided conversation for a while, so I'll keep writing if you keep being a baby. Deal?

When you're done being a baby I expect you to participate fully, until then I'll do my best to fill your head with nonsensical life lessons and unsound advice.

I'll talk to you soon,

Your Favorite Uncle,

Kevin